In preparation for our impending parenthood, Yayoi & I
recently learned CPR. The class taught CPR for adults, but mainly focused on
the procedure for infants. The class was filled with other couples, with the
woman often with a bulging stomach revealing their motivation for being there.
During the class, we all leaned over our own rubber infants and
vigorously blew into the tiny mouths and nostrils of our make-believe babies.
The scenarios laid out by our instructor were unnerving for any future parent.
While she assured us that the chances of us ever having to perform CPR on
anyone, baby or otherwise were very slim indeed, it would undoubtedly be every
parent’s worst nightmare.
Koreans have a saying which states that giving voice to a
terrible thought will make that event more likely to come true. Literally, it
may be translated “The utterance becomes the seed”. I also subscribe to this
school of thought and make it a habit never to discuss even hypothetical
scenarios too terrible to conceive. This is also why I find it extremely
annoying when my non-Korean friends will casually suggest terrible hypothetical
scenarios involving me in order to make a point.
This “see no evil” attitude towards dealing with mortality
presents a conundrum for Koreans when trying to prepare for these unfortunate
events. Purchasing life insurance, preparing a will and other steps which
acknowledge the possibility or inevitability of evil visiting our lives make me
very unhappy and nervous. With a baby about to join our family, I was forced to
get over my culturally inherited apprehension of addressing our mortality.
I find that it becomes a more difficult pill to swallow as one’s
identity grows to encompass other people. When I was younger, my own mortality
did not bother me so much other than the sadness it would cause to my parents.
But as I added a wife, and now a baby, my mortality became something to fear
and curse because it meant that the remainder of my identity would suffer if I
were to pass away.
Posts
