Dinner with family

Today we are past the halfway point in our stay in San Francisco. The seemingly endless transcontinental flight is a distant memory. Everyone is more than fully acclimated to Pacific Standard Time, the cloudless, perfect blue sky that characterizes "normal" weather in northern California.

Yayoi and I took all the girls, less Minjung to a city pool. Yuna and Juniper passed a "rigorous" swim test, consisting of three laps in the pool the short way, followed by a 1-minute treading session. the reward was a wristband awarding them privileges to access the deep portion of the pool. The primary attraction at this pool were two water slides. Yuna waited her turn in line to tumble down the twisting slide. Juniper is maybe slightly more cautious in her inclination compared to the speed loving daredevil tendencies of Yuna. But she did join Yuna on her second turn on the slide. Afterwards, we hit nearby Japantown for some crepes.

We initially had reservations at the Perennial, a new restaurant owned by Jiyoun and Simon's friends for dinner. But Jiyoun was still under the weather from an apparent stomach bug she picked up while we were visiting our friends in Pacific Grove, so we postponed the reservations and ate in.

Joining us for dinner at home was my aunt and uncle, in town for my cousin's wedding the previous week, but also for tonight, my grandfather and my uncle in San Jose was also visiting. I took on the task of preparing a meal for some fifteen people, plus a plethora of little people. I covered Jiyoun's kitchen with bacon grease as I embarked on an abbreviated version of David Chang's Chicken and Egg (oyako donburi).

I hadn't seen my grandfather in many years. I knew that he had moved in with my San Jose uncle (his eldest son) a few years ago. I was surprised that he didn't attend my cousin's wedding last week. It appeared that he was not so mobile and perhaps it was difficult logistically to attend the ceremony. He spent a long time in the bathroom, and left behind a soiled adult diaper, which my mom and aunt disposed of discretely.

My grandfather was apparently not in the mood to eat any dinner or cake, and spent the hours during dinner slumped on a couch, sleeping. He was oblivious to the energetic chaos of the little girls, his great granddaughters, playing around him the whole time. He declined to eat a thing, even dessert. Towards the end of the evening, he wanted to go home, but my uncle insisted we stay a bit longer so he could catch the ending of the NBA finals, game 1 (GSW VS CLE). My grandfather seemed to be expressing an interest in stopping by a yogurt place on the way back, but my uncle seemed to be saying that by the time they got back to San Jose, the place would be closed.

Seeing my grandfather and his state of health at the time of his youngest granddaughter's wedding made me project into the future to my own parents. Would they be healthy and able to attend Minjung's wedding? She is basically being raised by them in her early years. She is very attached to my mother and my father plays the part of the doting grandfather, basically unable to see her cry and rarely says no to anything.

We are in the process of buying a house in Delmar. We are very excited, and I was wondering is this our last house purchase? Would we retire here? It's sobering to think that maybe eventually, my own parents will need closer help, and would we want to consider relocating nearby to SF so we can be near them? Traditionally, the eldest son takes on the primary responsibility of caring for the parents in their old age. Certainly, my sister will have a great house for them to all cohabitate, as my brother in law has been laboring mightily to finish their dream house. But would their work hours and the demands of their own three children allow them to provide the care to my parents? How would I be able to afford the astronomical cost of living to be anywhere near them in SF? Currently, the real estate in SF is probably five to six times what it costs in Albany. It's hard to imagine a scenario where I could afford that.