Church Hopping, Part 1

Week 1: L* Community Church

This was mentioned to me as specifically NOT being a mega church, but if this isn’t a mega church than I don’t know what is. It is a very large and apparently well organized church. The adjoining wing had the various children’s ministries humming like a well oiled machine. The volunteers all wore matching name tags and the spaces for different age groups had lots of clean and age-appropriate furniture and play things.

The service itself was in a large auditorium space. The pastor recounted a conversation he had with another “Christian” (the quote is largely his) during which he offered as a litmus test of True Christianity one’s willingness to condemn homosexuality as anti-biblical, or as he put it “the willingness to stand for what’s right and what’s wrong”. The lily-white congregation nodded enthusiastically in agreement. The search for our new church home has just begun.

Week 2: C* United Methodist Church

This church sported more humble, run-down facilities (at least compared to week 1’s L* Community Church). The United Methodist denomination is traditionally the more left of center compared to other mainstream denominations (such as Presbyterian or Reformed), and I had a hope that I would find this church to be a better fit. Seeing a female head pastor definitely signaled that I was less likely to hear about the Bible’s clear and unequivocal condemnation to homosexuality.

The pastor was very soft spoken bordering on inaudible. Following a baptism of some of the children, she walked down the aisle sprinkling water on the congregation, encouraging us to remember our own baptism. There is definitely a precedent on the Old Testament to the leaders sprinkling fluids on the people (thankfully, it’s water instead of a freshly slaughtered animal). But in my three plus decades of church attendance, this was the first time that a pastor had sprinkled water on me.

Curiously, the coffee fellowship preceded the service (perhaps more awake congregants?) at this church. As a result, the congregation cleared out of the sanctuary within minutes of the conclusion of the service, and we did not get a chance to meet anyone. When exiting the sanctuary, I shook the pastors hand and offered that we were new (should be visually evident since again, the congregation was overwhelmingly white), but the pastor only smiled and nodded politely, and did not follow up with a conversation in the coffee-less and quickly emptying reception area.

Week 3: Unaffiliated Church

During our research, we learned that the senior pastor had earned his graduate degree from a well known, mainstream seminary, and further more was previously pasturing a congregation in New Jersey. Immediately, I felt hope that this church would be a better fit for us. Not to dismiss or put down the used car salesman who experiences a revelation from God and decides to lead a flock a la Paul, but I will take my pastors with credentials from an accredited and well-known mainstream institution any day of the week.

The sermon did not disappoint, and I was pleased to hear hardly a slam on any marginal group be it women, homosexuals or the “Christians” who fail to condemn said groups. At the start of the sermon, the pastor lowered the lights and showed a Powerpoint presentation to kick off the day’s message. It was titled “The Seven Wonders of the World”, and the summary of the presentation was the instead of looking for “wonders” such as the Hanging Gardens, The Great Wall or others, a child had more aptly identified more common and everyday gifts such as “seeing”, “touching” and “loving” as the “Seven Wonders”. Each of the Wonder identified by the child had corresponding heart-warming image (a butterfly landing on a flower, a waterfall with a rainbow, so on). The last of the Wonders identified by the presumably enlightened child was “loving”, and featured the face of Jesus (commonly referred to as the Clairol Jesus in the Art Department at Calvin College) in the sky as the sun was setting. The presentation was accompanied in the background by some Christian songs, and employed every transition available as part of Powerpoint, from disintegrating letters to texts sweeping out and over to reveal the next slide.

It’s hard to know how to respond to such a presentation, but the best thing that I can say about it is that it didn’t hurt anyone and its failure was limited to the aesthetic. Again, this church employed the coffee/fellowship time to precede the service and therefore we did not get to mingle with anyone. But of the three churches we have been to so far during our time here in Albany, this third one is the one we’d most likely return to.